I found myself advising a coaching client recently to reframe his thinking on a certain issue that challenged him. We went through a litany of possible approaches to help him see his issue from different perspectives that opened the aperture of his thinking and he said the conversation was very helpful. He has already circled back with me about the positive progress he has made. I reflected this morning on how often I encounter friends, colleague and clients who are “stuck” in their thinking or struggling to see a way forward out of the problems they may have created in their own minds. I find myself falling into this trap on occasion as well.
How exactly do we reframe our thinking to help solve the challenges which confront us? I am certain brighter people than me have written and coached on this topic, but I would like to share seven clear and actionable best practices I typically offer (and utilize for myself) to help others reframe their thinking when they feel stuck:
- Have the humility to admit we may be wrong about something. There is little nobility in repeating the same actions and thinking the exact same way if it continues to result in failure. Be humble enough to admit there is possibly a better and more effective way.
- Challenge assumptions and keep an open mind. We often make assumptions and snap judgments about people and situations based on previous experiences or imbedded bias. It is important to shed our potential bias and thinking to objectively evaluate what is in front of us with a more open mind and perhaps try to see the issue through the eyes of others.
- Be more curious. The simple act of being more curious will open the aperture of our thinking and provide new insights and knowledge to help us reframe how we are thinking. Strive to be curious with others and actively listen to what we hear. Being curious will help us learn and expand our knowledge base which is always a positive thing. Also, be willing to ask ourselves these kinds of questions when faced with adversity/challenges: What are alternative reasons this could have happened other than my initial assumption? How can I tackle this problem to make it a learning experience? What is my personal role in this problem and how could I have handled it differently? What advice would I give someone else if they had this problem? What are the positives of this situation that will help me in the future?
- Check our sources of information. If we are honest, how often do we find that our perspectives and thinking are defined (maybe even poorly defined) by our sources of information? It is always a good idea to learn different perspectives and seek out multiple channels of information from trusted sources to help our thinking and inform our decisions. Be willing to thoughtfully question what we hear. This definitely applies to social media and the news. I have found my best sources of helpful insights are people who may have credibility from past successes, are better informed or have more experience than me.
- Practice gratitude. Being grateful is a powerful antidote to negative thinking or frustration with problems. If we start to feel genuine gratitude for the challenges or difficult situations before us and see them as blessings, not burdens, we transform them into positive opportunities for learning and growth.
- Seek out candid voices. I have always found one of the best sources of help when I recognize a need to challenge my thinking is to seek out the trusted and candid voices in my life. I want to be clear that these candid voices are not helpful because they validate and affirm everything I say. No, these few and precious candid voices are friends and colleagues who always have permission to be brutally honest with me, challenge my thinking and offer alternatives. I value every single conversation I have with them and am grateful for the impact these amazing men and women have on my life.
- Embrace patience and reflection. This is the best practice that has always helped me the most and is the foundation for the others. When I need to reframe my thinking and deal with issues differently or shift from a negative to positive mindset, simply patiently thinking it through is extremely helpful. Take a breath and don’t react in the moment. Take a walk and ponder the situation. Ask yourself the simple question: “Is there a different way I should be thinking about this right now?”
The most thoughtful and successful leaders I know are adept at reframing their thinking. They consistently live by their convictions, values and beliefs, but also have a healthy willingness to view the challenges before them through a different lens if they feel stuck or ineffective. They abandon their ego and stubbornness and have a sincere desire to chart the best path forward for themselves and those around them. There is a fundamental difference between the importance of honoring our core beliefs and having an openness to changing our thinking when it does not conflict with those core beliefs.
As you read this, you may be feeling stuck on a problem or developing a growing self-awareness that it is time to reframe your thinking about how you deal with adversity or negativity in your life. Remember the same old results are likely to result from the same old thinking. I hope the implementation of these seven basic concepts helps you and accelerates your growth as a leader.
Good luck on the journey.
